too good to be true

when i thought of my utopian work situation, i knew i had a slim chance of achieving it. well, in the first place, it wouldn't be utopian if it was achievable.

but as things have a weird way of falling into its places, Head Honcho gave me a "second lease in work life." utopia is possible after all! i got excited with work again and decided not to tell Crosspatch of my current state when she gets back from vacation.

during today's meeting with Crosspatch, she said to me that i'll still be doing the work i really hate on top of the "second lease in work life" work Head Honcho gave me. that was it. that was my boiling point. i snapped back to reality and realized it had been always been the unachievable utopian after all.

tsk tsk tsk. it was too good to be true.

noteworthy

Head Honcho announced today a noteworthy announcement (what else?!?!) in the office. we have a 15th month bonus for our achievements last year. woohoooo!!!!

i can't rejoice any further because at this moment, i'd rather have my utopian world than a month's bonus.

bed weather

its been raining for days already, thanks to typhoon Chedeng. times like these, i just want to curl up in my bed, sip hot choco and read a good book. its so tempting not to go to the office.

1 kilogram less

i weighed myself last night and i lost a kilogram. weeee! i even had my clothes on so i'm lighter than 53 kgs. even though it took me 6 months to achieve that, at least i did achieve it. *proud*

international texting

Twinkle Star texted me today, asking how i am after 2 1/2 days of Crosspatch's return. i told her i'm still not ok and that Head Honcho thinks i'm better now that Crosspatch is back. Head Honcho is so clueless!!!! i told Twinkle Star i'll talk to Crosspatch after tomorrow's GA. i also told Twinkle Star that i found it weird that Crosspatch gave me a rosary as pasalubong. when Crosspatch gave me that rosary, what it meant for me is this: Bratty, magdasal dasal ka na. I'm back! Twinkle Star said that it meant nothing. Twinkle Star thinks its funny that that was how i saw it. but really, i got paranoid when she gave me a rosary. hehe.

oh, this post is international texting because Twinkle Star's in Bangkok.

underarms

last friday, i was wearing a sleeveless top. at the seminar, we were asked to do stretching exercies. it included raising our arms over our heads. when we did this, White Mommy shrieked: ang puti ng kilikili ni Bratty! ohmygath! i was mortified. i put down my arm as fast as i could before White Mommy could poke her seatmate and tell him/her about my kilikili.

after the stretching exercise, i sat right next to White Mommy and growled to her: why did you say that? White Mommy replied: really Bratty ang puti-puti ng kilikili mo. since i did not think of it as a compliment, i imagined deodorant marks all over my underams. i was filled with embarrassment. i think i even flushed upon imagining what my underarms look like. good thing though that White Mommy shifted her attention to the speaker.

no more kilikili stories for that day. thank God. but more kilikili stories last sunday. sheesh.

last sunday, i was wearing a sleeveless top again since we were on our way to the beach. i can't remember how the conversation started but i remember telling Fragile: si White Mommy sabi ang puti puti daw ng kilikili ko. and to my surprise, Fragile replied: oo nga, ang ganda ng kilikili mo. matagal ko na napansin. OHMYGATH! i became conscious at that moment. i wanted to add sleeves to my top immediately.

during the loooong trip to Punta Fuego, while reaching for something at the back of the car, Fragile said: ayan o, ang ganda ng kilikili ni Bratty. that was it, i became conscious again. i tried to hide my underarms by putting my hands near my shoulders to act as sleeves. Fragile even added: matagal ko ng napapansin na maganda kilikili mo. wala pang lines nakakainis. nag pu pluck ka ba? uh-oh, here we go again.

shet. shet. shet. my of all body parts, underarms. can you just say i have no boobs? i wouldn't disagree. i wouldn't even feel embarrassed coz its really true. sigh. it just had to be my underarms.

i can't believe people notice other people's underams. or is it just me that don't take a look at other people's underarms? ugh! enough of this post. its making me sick. *shivers*

fucking work

because of the typhoon, non-operational employees were allowed to go home at 3pm. i decided to stay to watch Meteor Garden and go to the gym. but no, no, no. Head Honcho had to check out one of our products and found bugs. and i have to fix it. damn! its 10:46 pm and i can't go home because i have to fix this putang-inang problema before Head Honcho sees me tomorrow. its 10:46 pm and i haven't eaten dinner. tang ina. ayoko na talaga dito. i'll most probably suprise people when i turn in my resignation one of these days.

the friday five for may 23

1. What brand of toothpaste do you use?

Colgate.

2. What brand of toilet paper do you prefer?

Kleenex.

3. What brand(s) of shoes do you wear?

Celine. Nine West. Reebok. Nike. Keds. Mendrez.

4. What brand of soda do you drink?

Coca-Cola Light / Diet Coke.

5. What brand of gum do you chew?

Juicy Fruit.

self-righteousness?

since i'm still in work limbo, here's something that made me forget all my work baggage momentarily.

Sometimes we are asked
to get good at something we have
no talent for,
or we excel at something we will never
have the opportunity to prove.

Often we ask ourselves
to make absolute sense
out of what just happens,
and in this way, what we are practicing

is suffering,
which everybody practices,
but strangely few of us
grow graceful in.

The climaxes of suffering are complex,
costly, beautiful, but secret.

SIGH.

blog, blog, blog, blog

i just realized i really haven't been blogging for the past weeks. often, when i'm out of the office, i remember to put something here but i can't somehow blog about it when i'm at work already. well, of course, work always gets in the way. hmmm, but if i'm really serious of writing it down, i make time for it right?

creative thinking

i just got back from a creative thinking seminar with half of the office people. i swear it was soooo tiring. we had lots of activities that required brain power. for every activity, we always had to write something serious and sensible. ugh.

supposedly, it would help us think "out of the box" but it turned out to be a forum of work issues and problems. the HR had a pretty rough day because of all the openness and honesty we shared in the discussions. at the very least, we were able to air out our issues and problems even if it was at the wrong place.

my groupmates and i kept changing our group name. from The Foxy Girls to The Beautiful Girls to The PMS Girls to The Selfish Girls. by the afternoon session, the facilitators were confused already. they didn't know by which group name they would call us. hee hee. coming up with a new group name was loads of fun ü

bye, bye Buffy

the last episode ever of the show Buffy, The Vampire Slayer will be aired this tuesday.

Appleby will surely miss this show.

the friday five for may 16

1. What drinking water do you prefer -- tap, bottle, purifier, etc.?

i'm quite picky with drinking water since the country's tap water is not clean at all so i prefer bottled and purified water.

2. What are your favourite flavor of chips?

cheese! next would be sour cream. but i've been cutting down on chips for the past 3 months so i hardly eat them nowadays. boo hoo hoo.

3. Of all the things you can cook, what dish do you like the most?

i can't cook at all period.

4. How do you have your eggs?

slightly uncooked sunny side up.

5. Who was the last person who cooked you a meal? How did it turn out?

Cher's brother. he's an excellent cook! he cooked lasagna for us. i shouldered all the ingredients, Cher took care of the place, and Cher's brother took care of the cooking.

and there's even a video game!

another one for Eminem freaks like me.

there's a video game coming out next week. titled, "Mix TV Presents: Eminem," the object of the game is to unscramble puzzles formed from the game's four videos (including "My Name Is" and "The Real Slim Shady") before the song concludes. there are six different types of puzzle modes in the game, including memory match and sliding puzzles. the video game can be played on PlayStation One or on PC.

more details here.

shadow filters

shadow filters make you text look like graphic. weee. this is fun!

LAVENDERBLUSH

GREENYELLOW

HOTPINK

GRAY

LIGHTCORAL

TOMATO

PALEVIOLETRED

LIGHTSTEELBLUE

for other web colors name chart, check out Mandarin Design.

testing is my middle name

Crosspatch called Head Honcho yesterday and Head Honcho told her about the MMS hullabaloo. i don't know the details of the call but the Crosspatch had a message for me: testing is my middle name.

it did not make me laugh. i wanted to roll my eyes in front of Head Honcho but i didn't want to risk getting sacked from my job. so i just laughed along with him, like an award-winning actress.

so close encounters of the mms kind

gash. this movie is taking its toll on me. i've been reprimanded by the Head Honcho for two straight days already for the mms content of we are offering for this movie. all his comments and constant follow-ups are draining my energy. and i can't complain or dilly dally because, well, he is the Head Honcho.

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i am so tired already and its still 6:30 pm. on normal days, i'm still perky at these times. i was even home yesterday by 8 pm. as usual, the guards got the shock of their lives because i came home before 10 pm.

and Nounours hanged a poster of the movie in the office where everyone can see. i want to tear it down!!!!!!!!!! it would have been better if it wasn't in full view from my seat, but no, it just has to be in its full reprimanding glory. argh!

anyhoo, for those of you who have mms-capable handsets, go to this link - http://w.pinoycentral.com/soclose/listing.aspx

don't forget to download a wallpaper or two. or if your phone is capable of WAV files, we also have sound effects. *shameless plug*

the friday five for may 9

1. Would you consider yourself an organized person? Why or why not?

yep. i'm what most people call OC (obsessive compulsive).

2. Do you keep some type of planner, organizer, calendar, etc. with you, and do you use it regularly?

i use my planner regularly. i put everything i have to do there. birthdays are also listed. i have a mini notebook inside my planner. i have exactly 4 calling cards inside it.

3. Would you say that your desk is organized right now?

yep. everything is in their proper places. in folders, in the desk cabinet, in the calling card holder, in the pens & pencils holder, and in the tack board.

4. Do you alphabetize CDs, books, and DVDs, or does it not matter?

nope. but my CDs are stacked in its own area. my books in another box. my magazines in another shelf.

5. What's the hardest thing you've ever had to organize?

my closet! i fix my closet almost every weekend. i never seem to get the correct way of arranging it.

OC enough for you? i color code my Excel worksheets, columns, and rows. i always use the font Palatino Linotype in color blue when sending emails. i organize my emails into folders. i rarely delete emails. even the emails i send to people. hmmm, what else? i rarely send text messages with capital letters. i put flag tapes on my files. i want all my money bills in their correct position. i segregate my coins into the 2 pockets, one for 1s and 5s, the other for 5cs and 10cs. enough. i'll make you sick.

see? i told ya.

the following quiz result affirms my friday five above:



so are you schizoid, narcissistic, or anti-social? find out now by taking the test Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?

epicurus and friendship

while searching for answers on what makes a friendhsip, i found 2 great quotations from Greek philosopher Epicurus. they are actually 2 of the 40 Principal Doctrines of Epicurus

"Of all the means which are procured by wisdom to ensure happiness throughout the whole of life, by far the most important is the acquisition of friends."

and

"The same conviction which inspires confidence that nothing we have to fear is eternal or even of long duration, also enables us to see that even in our limited conditions of life nothing enhances our security so much as friendship."

so i began searching the Net for Epicurean articles.

what a delight! brought me back to my college days where i had philosophy subjects.

well, i'm really not in position to discuss the topic at length since i haven't understood them fully. so instead, here are 2 great reads on Epicurean philosophy on friendship. enjoy!

Epicurean Friendship
The Pleasure of Friendship in Epicurus

friendship over! *stamped and sealed*

i've been thinking about friendship lately. well, just the past few days. what makes a friendship? what sustains it? when do you call someone you've met a friend? what makes a friend? and what makes an enemy?

i'm about to let a friendship evaporate into thin air. no matter how hard i try to soften my heart, i don't see why i shouldn't do it. i mean, i've been into this situation thrice already. i think that's enough for me to let the friendship go. i don't care about "through thick and thin" anymore.

i hate to see friendships go. hell, who doesn't? if real friendships ever existed, can it disappear so quickly? can three years of friendship disapper in just a snap? i wonder.

i've heard the explanations from third parties who i think are trying as hard to make sense of it as i am. from the perspective of my ... what do i call the person now? ex-friend? enemy? ... i have been a gossiper. mygath! what an accusation!

i won't deny that i thought of something malicious about my enemy. but, for heaven's sake, i was just avoiding any figurative images that might come to mind everytime i see them. i see them together almost everyday and if ever my malicious, imagined situation became a reality, i don't think i can carry out a clean mind.

and just for the record, i didn't gossip about it. i just told a friend of my malicious, imagined situation to make me at ease. and another for the record, i don't think hearing my enemy's reasons and defenses are worth knowing. frankly, i don't give a damn.

maybe we both just don't know how to handle bad times. nah, i don't think so. i've swallowed my pride just to say sorry without knowing the reason why. if it wasn't Christmas, we still wouldn't be talking to each other by now. also, i didn't want to start the new year with an enemy at the gates. so, at that time, my attitude was "to hell with pride, i'm saying sorry." but uh-ah, i'm not doing that now!

for all intents and purposes, i will eradicate my enemy in my life. that's fair enough for myself. what i'm worried about is if it is fair enough for our mutual friends? even if they defend me and stand by me, they will surely be affected by this change.

part of me would really like to work out some sort of peaceful co-existence if only to make things easier for our mutual friends. but i am fully aware that i have been hurt enough by this person, and i just can't be the one to make the first move.

i feel sorry for our mutual friends, who likely think that both of us are being pretty stupid. but i will remain firm and this is not being stupid. i am giving myself justice and well-deserved dignity.

i'm yellow

i was reading old emails (actually, deleting old emails) and i came across this-is-your-persona forward.

since i was born between july 15th - july 25th, my color is yellow.

here's the analysis:

You are sweet and innocent.

well, what for i was named Dulce if i'm not sweet. haha. and i can easily fool people with my innocent looks. but sometimes, i hurt people with my innocent remarks. (naks, concerned si tactless.)

Trusted by many people,

this i think is one of my good traits. ahem. yeah, i blab but i know which ones to keep.

and have a strong leadership towards relationships.

hmmm, really? not what i have experienced so far. haha.

You make good decision and make the right choice at the right time.

waw! this is really one ultra positive trait. and its uplifting to know that i have this trait. well, that is, if i really have this trait.

And always dreaming of romantic relationship.

well that's because i don't have a boyfriend. haha. that was such a loser remark.

another name generator

still from my old emails, the Hobbit Name Generator and Elvish Name Generator.

if i was a hobbit, my name would be Tigerlily Chubb-Baggins. if i was an elf, i would be Tári Oronar.

i like my hobbit name better.

the friday five for may 2

1. Name one song you hate to admit you like.

Passenger Seat by Stephen Speaks

<so sue me>

2. Name two songs that always make you cry.

I Miss You by Incubus
Here, There, Everywhere by The Beatles

3. Name three songs that turn you on.

Come Away With Me by Norah Jones
Lonestar by Norah Jones
In My Place by Coldplay

<okay, i think Norah Jones' first album is a good making-out album. haha.>

4. Name four songs that always make you feel good.

Bathala by Imago
Release by George
With A Smile by Eraserheads
Where Are You Going? by Dave Matthews Band

5. Name five songs you couldn't ever do without.

One Song Glory from the musical Rent
Galileo by Indigo Girls
Make Yourself by Incubus
All You Need Is Love by The Beatles
Lover, You Should've Come Over by Jeff Buckley

<but this list is endless. these are the songs that first popped my head.>

really good questions! i LIKE!!!!